The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet

Every morning I watch Good Day Utah and The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet. I have my routine. I wake up and make my grits, eat my breakfast and watch then weather. Then I shower, and by the time I am done showering, Mike and Juliet is on and I watch that while I finish getting ready. They do lots of fun stuff. It's kind of mind numbing things, but I love it. This morning though, they did a segment on spanking your children. I was very interested. They had a lady on who proudly admits she spanks her children, a lady who has only spanked her children once and she never did it again and an expert.
The woman who spanks her children was so proud of it. She was also very defensive. She said she spanks her children after she has given them numerous warnings and they still do not listen. She said she does not do time-outs because it just "gives children the opportunity to sit there and think of other things they can do to get into trouble." She only has a 5 and 3 year old...I think she's giving them a little too much credit. She said she can "guarantee" her children do not misbehave at the store and that her children will never grow up and end up in prison. I think she must be able to see the future or something. She also said she NEVER spanks her children out of anger.

The woman who has only spanked her children once is NOT proud of spanking them and admits to crying when she did so. She does time-outs and she talks to her children about what is appropriate behavior and WHY they are in time-out. She believes spanking is an immediate action to something coming from anger or frustration. She didn't get to say much else because the woman who spanks her children kept interrupting her.

The expert said that spanking is something that is done out of anger or frustration. The the spanking mother interrupted and said anger and frustration are NOT the same emotion and they come from different places and spanking your child out of anger is abuse, but spanking them out of frustration is NOT abuse. Then the expert said that research shows, children who are spanked on a daily or weekly basis are more likely to grow up and hit their spouses and children. They are also more likely...wait, spanking mother interrupted again, so the expert did not get to finish.

The spanking mother kept using the example that she lives on a major road. If her children run out to the road, it is an automatic spanking. When her five year old son ACTUALLY ran out into the road, he was spanked with a belt. A FIVE YEAR OLD. The expert finally was fed up with this woman and said, if you live in an area where there is a potential for your children to RUN out to a major road and you don't have a fence or something barricading them from the street if you have to turn your back for one second, you are an irresponsible parent! THANK YOU EXPERT!

As you guys can see, I was very irritated with this woman who spanks their children. She came out very high and mighty, as well as defensive. She even had the nerve to say to the expert, I spank my children when all the crap you say doesn't work. How rude of her!

Now, this brings me to how I feel about spanking and discipline. I am a very big believer in positive discipline. I feel that parents spank their children out of their own anger and frustration. It shows a lack of control on the parents part and a lack of discipline on themselves and their emotions. I can just picture that woman giving her children "numerous warnings" Which include not looking in their direction when she tells them to stop and not telling them what they are doing that they need to stop. It also includes as monotone voice with no authority in it. I am not saying yell at your child. That is just as bad. I am saying, if your child is doing something wrong, you get on their level, look them in the eye and tell them, "You DO NOT do....and give a reason why." Children understand a LOT more then parents give them credit. The woman who spanks her children also said it gives them the opportunity to "think of new ways to get into trouble." First of all, this is a woman who obviously believes everyone is born inherently evil and not good. Second of all, OF COURSE it gives them the opportunity to sit there and taunt you and try to get out of their seat. If you just throw them in time-out and that's it, you are not giving them any discipline at ALL! Most children need to be told WHY they are in time-out. WHY they are in trouble. AND they should also be told what is a better behavior. Putting a child in time-out and walking away is NOT the answer.

Like I said, positive discipline. I believe children should get 2 GOOD warnings. On their level (talking above children belittles them as much as spanking or yelling) , eye contact, "Johnny, this is your first warning. DO NOT throw the toys. That is how you hurt people and your toys." He throws them again. Again, down on their level, eye contact, grab hold of their arm if you have to do something to MAKE them look at you. "K, Johnny, this is your second warning. If you throw toys again, you will sit in time-out." So, lets say he throws it again, you should have a set place where your child sits. Get on their level, look in their eyes and tell them WHY they are in time out. "Johnny, you have to sit here because you would not stop throwing toys. That is how you break your toys and you could hurt someone else. What should you do with your toys?" Talk about it with your child. Then, one minute of time out for every year of their life. Five years, five minutes. Don't just walk away from your child, stay there in the room, you can be doing something else, but make sure your child KNOWS you are watching them. I also believe you should go over what you talked about in the beginning of time-out again once time-out is over. Repetition is key with children. Schedules are key. Being constant is key. Don't just do that sometimes. Do it every time. I can guarantee, a child who knows their parents love them and what their parents expect from them will keep them out of trouble and out of prison.

To the rude woman who spanks her children, I believe the way she does it is abuse, and someone should call Child Services on her. Or make her take a parenting class or SOMETHING!

I would like to know what you guys think as well, so hit me big time baby!